Thursday, March 28, 2013

why so sad?

I changed my photo on Facebook yesterday. I felt inspired by a photo shared by one of my dollmaker friends in the doll maker group that I belong to on Facebook.

Sharing photos of myself in a public space has always felt kind of weird to me.  First of all, since I am the family photographer, there are not too many good pictures of me. When you are always the one behind the camera it's tough to get a photo of yourself. So you really have to take matters in your own hands and turn the camera on yourself to get a photo. I did use my phone yesterday. Seems like all phone cameras these days have that nifty feature where you can switch the camera angle and point it at yourself. It feels pretty weird looking yourself in the eye, doesn't it? Is this really me?

After trying from so many angles that showed very unflattering blemishes and wrinkles -  age taking it's toll on my face - I decided to use the shot you see for my new profile photo. My husband, constant critic that he is, commented: "You look so sad in it." Hmpf.

Do I look sad? I guess I do. We lost another good friend this week. His death came as sudden as can be. They say: He was an old man. He had a good full life. He got to spend some time with his grandkids and do the things that he enjoyed in his retirement. Yet I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that he just dropped dead from a heart attack at the family cabin in the mountains this weekend. No time for Goobyes.

I found myself standing in front of condolence cards at the grocery store yesterday. I could not find a single card that I liked. They all seemed so cheesy and wrong. None of them expressed the emotion I felt when I heard the news. I guess I'll have to make my own card. Maybe I'll wrap up one of my little leafbuddies for the grieving widow. I want her to know how much I care and how sad this makes me.

His name was Walker Miller. He was a judge. He was a good man.
He will be terribly missed.


Brigid said...

May his memory be eternal.

woolies said...

I'm so sorry for you loss, Ulla. (and you're brave for putting your picture out there....)

germandolls said...

Thanks, Sara and Brigid! I am glad you stopped by and said hello.

Donna said...

Loss is so hard; especially when you don't get to say good by. My heart goes out to you. I lossed a good friend a few years ago. We were not living in our home town when she passes away and no one let me know. By the time I found out the funeral was already over. Losing her was hard, but today I still have a hard time because I wasn't able to say goodby. I know I will see her again, so I keep that in my thoughts and look forward to that day. May Heavenly Father comfort you at this time. and you might look sad in the picture, but you are still a very pretty lady.

germandolls said...

I am so sorry about your friend and how nobody let you know she had passed away, Donna. How sad to find out such news so late. But I guess one must chalk it up to the survivors being overwhelmed at the moment it happened.
I felt so bad for Walker's son having to call so many people and friends giving them the sad news. How hard it must be to speak those words over and over again and hear the sad reaction on the other end of the line...Hugs to you!