Accent - don't speak a word or they will know...
A : know what? that I am an Alien - the Ausländer. not from these lands. the outsider. which of these three things doesn't belong? I don't belong. yet I am are here. they notice the accent. it gives me away every time. it gives everyone license to comment. where are you from? I get so sick of the question. I used to work at a coffee shop. after the fifth customer for the day had asked that question I'd tell them I am Chinese. now I say I am from 13th Avenue. maybe one could pretend to be mute? learn sign language? I want to blend in.
C: Communication or rather lack thereof. it's not my Native tongue. please don't judge me if I don't get the subtle nuances. Did I say something that hurts your feelings? Maybe it doesn't sound so harsh in German. cultural differences, you know. there are things that are okay to say in German but not in English. it appears.
C: Cut off from the homeland. missing my family, my people, the very fabric I am made of. Food, Music, Culture - Language I understand.
E: Excluded, never quite belonging. what am I supposed to do when they sing the National anthem during sporting events? will they know I am not one of them? watching my kids with their hands across their hearts. nationalism. alienated from my own kids. so not me.
N: Not from here. Nobody. None of your credentials matter. Not employed. underemployed.
T: Troublemaker, at best. she is different. always complaining. why don't you go back to where you came from if you don't like it here? at worst, suspected of being a Terrorist. every time you cross the border being subjected to "special" treatment. more fingerprints. don't you have enough prints and pictures of me? never been fingerprinted in my life. they don't do that in Germany. not during border crossings or for jobs. only time you get fingerprinted is when you are a arrested for committing a crime. Why is this still upsetting to me after 18 years?