It's been 7 years today since you passed away, Mama. I keep thinking it should become easier as year after year goes by. Thinking that somehow grief would diminish as time goes on. But it's not! I miss you and think of you every day!
Like you did for your mom after she died - I light a candle each year on your birthday and on the day of your passing...
I think it's a good tradition. Reminding us of the light a person brought into our life. Do you have any traditions or rituals for loved ones you have lost? What to do when the hole in your heart feels so big and you feel like you can't breathe?
9 comments:
A loss is hard and one that time does not heal when it is a parent. I find just allowing myself to grieve and cry helps. For me with my father's passing I listen to tape he left behind, sometimes they bring me peace sometimes they make me cry. But what ever the feeling I allow myself to have it and be in the moment!
ahhh Ulla, I am so sorry. My mother died 28 years ago. Sometimes her face and voice are so vivid in my thoughts. I learned that I carry her in my heart and soul; she is a part of me. My son asked me a question about her, just last night, and told me that I don't talk enough about her. He wants to know more about her. So I will tell stories. Keeping her alive in my daily thoughts, and not just quiet thoughts, if that makes sense. Use her recipes, share her with your loved ones.
Love to you.
I am guessing it is different with every person, but I know I have to accept that the pain never goes away. The people we love impact us, and when they leave, that impact is there. My youngest brother died almost eight years ago, and it feels as if he took a part of me with him. I seek out the people who knew him, and who are willing to talk about his stories.
The candle-lighting tradition is a good one.
P.S. I did not mean to make that post be about me. I think of you, Ulla, and send you love.
To help others who are close to me who have lost a mother, I make food from that mother's cookbook/recipe collection. I try to do this on Mother's Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and birthday. In that way, the person's mother is always close by...and, in ways, nourishing her son or daughter.
Your idea of lighting a candle on your mother's birthday and day of her passing is such a lovely idea. I'm going to suggest that to the ones I know who would find a lot of comfort and peace in doing that. Thank you for sharing that idea...and the picture at the top of your post.
Thanks my friends! I like the idea with the food. The good thing was i got to talk to my youngest sister yesterday. I think sharing stories with people who knew the person is a good thing, too!
oh my friend, i know your pain only too well. hugs and love to you, a zillion times over. you know i am always here for you, if you need to talk.
as for traditions? i'm not sure what we'll do. her first anniversary is in a few weeks. for my father-in-law sebastian & i have held a "death day" party each year. he was 5 when his gpa died, & very into harry potter. this was the perfect way to handle the first few anniversaries for a young child. i'm not so sure i can do the same for my mother. i suppose i'll see if he wants to continue the tradition with her, & figure things out from there.
love you!!
I am also dealing with a big loss and I am not sure I am dealing with it well enough to be able to offer you any advice. It is hard and I like the idea of lighting a candle and the food. I know you and I have a similar issue with distance from family which also makes it harder.
(((Big Hugs))) Ulla.
Thank you, my friends, for leaving all those lovely comments. You leave me speechless and overwhelmed with love. I am thinking of you and pray your ways of dealing with your particular loss will make you heal and feel better over time.
Hugs to you all!
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