Summer Reading

If you are looking for a good book to read this summer I highly recommend Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline. This read may not last you a long time though. I powered through this novel in merely 3 days after receiving it for my birthday.

hope it get adopted soon...

Being an immigrant myself I am a total sucker for any literature about immigration. This one hit the spot. Orphan Train is the story of a young Irish girl who loses her family in a fire shortly after her arrival at Ellis Island from Ireland in the 1929. I had never heard of this part of US history - about the many orphaned immigrant children who were sent from Eastcoast cities by train out West to be adopted, or  rather, as happened in many cases, to be enslaved by families in midwestern towns...

Baker Kline's gripping tale not only talks about the plight of the orphan children from long ago; she manages to intertwine their story with the plight of the modern day orphan child struggling to survive in the US fostercare system.

Other than some very negative portraits I have observed on various TV shows and the stories I have read in the newspapers, I really don't know much about the US fostercare system. There must be decent people out there who do take in orphaned children and do a good job of it one hopes... But from the depiction in Baker Kline's  novel one definitely gets the idea that a lot of children suffer from abuse and do not fare well in this system. I found the parallels to the orphan children from long ago quite astounding.

I hope you give this book a try. And as you read don't forget that somewhere down the line your folks came from another place. How often were your ancestors haunted by this question: What would my life have been like if I had stayed in my home country? I leave you with one of the many passage that touched me deeply...

"My parents left Ireland in hopes of a brighter future, all of us believing we were on our way to a land of plenty. As it happened, they failed in this new land, failed in just about every way possible. It may have been that they were weak people, ill suited for the rigors of emigration, it's humiliations and compromises, its competing demands of self-discipline and adventurousness....

In Kinvara, poor as we were, and unstable, we at least had family nearby, people who knew us. We shared traditions and a way of looking at the world. We didn't know until we left how much we took those things for granted." (page.32)

Accent - or be kind to aliens!

 

Accent - don't speak a word or they will know...

A : know what? that I am an Alien - the Ausländer. not from these lands. the outsider. which of these three things doesn't belong? I don't belong. yet I am are here. they notice the accent. it gives me away every time. it gives everyone license to comment. where are you from? I get so sick of the question. I used to work at a coffee shop. after the fifth customer for the day had asked that question I'd tell them I am Chinese. now I say I am from 13th Avenue. maybe one could pretend to be mute? learn sign language? I want to blend in.

C: Communication or rather lack thereof. it's not my Native tongue. please don't judge me if I don't get the subtle nuances. Did I say something that hurts your feelings? Maybe it doesn't sound so harsh in German. cultural differences, you know. there are things that are okay to say in German but not in English. it appears.

C: Cut off from the homeland. missing my family, my people, the very fabric I am made of. Food, Music, Culture - Language I understand.

E: Excluded, never quite belonging. what am I supposed to do when they sing the National anthem during sporting events? will they know I am not one of them? watching my kids with their hands across their hearts. nationalism. alienated from my own kids. so not me.

N: Not from here. Nobody. None of your credentials matter. Not employed. underemployed.

T: Troublemaker, at best. she is different. always complaining. why don't you go back to where you came from if you don't like it here? at worst, suspected of being a Terrorist. every time you cross the border being subjected to "special" treatment. more fingerprints. don't you have enough prints and pictures of me?  never been fingerprinted in my life. they don't do that in Germany. not during border crossings or for jobs. only time you get fingerprinted is when you are a arrested for committing a crime. Why is this still upsetting to me after 18 years?

The Curse of the Modern Immigrant...

I was determined to make my blog a happy place this year. No more moping and whining. I wanted to write about the good things in life. But life just doesn't work that way, does it?

I often wonder whether it was easier for European immigrants from the last century. They said their 'Good Byes', got on the boat, and made a new life for themselves here. Going back to visit family just wasn't an option. They probably exchanged letters with the family, because of postal delays they probably din't know when tragedy struck at home. I wonder whether not knowing may have been easier...

In the age of telephone, Internet, and instant messaging we always know when things happen...

I am the only one from my family in my generation who has left Germany. Yesterday I got another one of those phone calls. I am sick of this kind of phonecall. The only good thing I can say about this particular one is, that it didn't come in the middle of the night. When my parents died, the callers did not consider what the time was over here. They called while everyone was sound asleep; the result being that whenever the phone rings late at night, I freak out. I am awake instantly thinking it could be another "Hiobsbotschaft" (bad news).

Well yesterday's bad news was about the passing of my cousin. Passing. He did not pass peacefully. He decided to jump off a rock cliff.

When we were kids in elemantary school we would take hiking trips to a place called Rotenfels. It's a beautiful rock formation by the Naheriver. People would always joke about "Suicide Rock". They whispered how many an unhappy loveaffair had ended in this place.

Well on March 27th, my cousin, Michael who had been diagnosed with cancer two years ago decided to end his life there. OMG, Michael! He was my age. Michael. A young successful manager. He had a beautiful wife and two beautiful children. He lived in a beautiful house in the town my mom grew up in. I guess we'll never know why he did this. I suspect being tired of the grueling cancer treatments and the hopelessness. Please pray for his little family and for him having found peace!

All I want to do is hug my aunt and uncle and tell them how sorry I am. But how can I -being thousands of miles away? The curse of the modern immigrant. Always knowing but not being able to do anything...